Thump. Thump.

The sun was shining as I walked peacefully to class. I was admiring the beauty of the Earth when I heard a pair of heavy feet quickly approaching me.

Thump. Thump.

Without warning, a large glob of human body hurled into mine. The force of this flesh knocked me to my knees. With the momentum of a adolescent elephant participating in a track and field event, the flailing female rolled over my bent shoulders. The rolling continued until her Ug boots managed to grip enough traction on the cold cement to stop herself. My eyes eagerly searched her almond eyes for signs of what had caused this sneak attack, my own personal Pearl Harbor.

No words were said. A simple confused look was the only answer I received before the assailant ran away. And when I say ran, I exaggerate, it was more of a quick trot.

The next time you hear a wide set thump thump behind your rump, please remember: jump or hide behind a stump, but you cannot escape the woman baring the thump thump.