Monday, September 26, 2011

Was Blind, But Now I See

The blind have always held a very special spot in my heart. It was my pleasure to raise two Guide Dogs for the Blind in my youth. Seeing the immense help they gave to their sightless counterparts gave me insight to a world I could never understand. But it was a universe that I decided to explore on Saturday at the Jiffy Lube.

I parked my Buick along side the Jiffy Lube on 5400 South. After taking a deep breath, calming my nerves, I exited the Buick and began stumbling toward the brick building. Groping for the entrance, my fingers touched the door handle and I shuffled into the lobby of the garage. One of the grease monkeys approached me and asked if he could help me. I let him know that I had parked my car on the west side of the building and that I needed him to change my oil. With that, I handed him my keys and felt my way to a chair.

Reverently, quietly, I waited for the man to come back. He opened the door and beckoned for me to follow him. I, of course, ignored him because I was blind. Clearing his throat he muttered, "Mr. Cannon, your car is ready. I'd like to go over what we did today." I stood up and waited for him to come over and escort me, arm in arm, to the computer screen. Keeping my lazy glazed eyes loosely glued to his face, I began tearing up as he said, "You can read here what we changed on your car today." Swallowing every nerve to giggle, my voice quivering I said, "I can't see."

The poor man who was waiting on me shrank when he realized his blunder against the blind. Reading each and every word on the screen took the articulately challenged man an eternity and I soaked up each and every moment of it! Finishing the check list, I took his arm and let him guide his visionless patron to the awaiting Buick.

"Are you sure you don't need some help? Someone to drive you home?" he repeatedly asked. To which I assured him, "I do this all the time."

Feeling my way into the car, I slid my body into the driver's seat with the grace of a sightless swan and buckled up. Pushing on the gas and break one after another, the sedan lurched forward with amazing gumption for such an old girl. "HEY STOP!" screamed the lube man, but it was too late. I slammed on the gas, spun the steering wheel and the tires screamed as I barreled away from that Jiffy Lube and onto amaurotic freedom.

15 comments:

Lissybug said...

Evil! Seriously. That was just mean. But, I can't stop laughing. :)

Holly said...

Lee man... i love ya! and ty i needed a good laugh... so proud to call you my cousin!

kristen said...

your posts crack me up. every single time.

Lee Cannon said...

I will have you know that I almost peed my pants laughing on my way home after this! HAHA! I was so proud of mysef! haha!

Alyssa Harper said...

Oh my stinkin' hilarious! I started laughing outright all by myself in the middle of the living room. The rest of the family had no idea what was going on. Love the story!

Beachquack said...

OMLee! Only you could get away with something like that! Ha, love it, love you, love everything!

Renee said...

I know I can always count on you for some laughter. This is funny and will be my favorite story for awhile.. Thank you Lee!!

kym said...

That was hilarious! I'm so glad I am friends with you and get to hear all your stories. They make my day everytime!

Laurel Wilson said...

bwahahaha I can't believe this! Good for you for keeping a straight face. I wouldn't be able to! I would have loved to be a bystander while this was going on. Can you imagine how he felt when you drove away tires screeching?? hahaha so funny!

David said...

That was awesome.

Kandis said...

Oh my gosh, Lee! I wish we lived closer to eachother! I want to be a part of your funny adventures! lol... This is super funny! Can't stop smiling! :D

Lee Cannon said...

I am glad that this can bring joy to your hearts! I giggle every time I think of that man's face as I drove away!

Manasse said...

Love it!

Tari Ledsome said...

Hahaha, perhaps that man was still stunned and surprised because you took your foot off the gas. You're such a silly joker, dude.

Tari Ledsome said...

Hahaha, perhaps that man was still stunned and surprised because you took your foot off the gas. You're such a silly joker, dude.