Monday, February 2, 2009

My Anthem Problem

Everyday has an anthem. Today my anthem was Neil Diamond's immortal Forever in Blue Jeans. The sweet tune and medicinal lyrics of the song acted as a guide to my weary heart. Anthems enter our lives at very random moments much like Madonna songs or childhood memories of Sesame Street.

I feel that the popular Irish mega star rock band U2 created a few perfect anthem songs. Hold Me, Thrill Me, Touch Me, Kill Me is the anthem of choice after any and every relationship break up. The ever popular With or Without You will go down in history as the classic stalker's anthem. Written in D major, "Every move you make, every breath you take, very step you make, every vow you break... I'll be watching you!" should creep out any female ranging in age from 11 to 67. And who could forget the other 1987 Joshua Tree rock n' roll staple I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, wherein Bono teaches us all seek out the perfect mate and to never afraid to be picky. Perhaps pickier than President Barack Hussein Obama II was in picking Tom Daschle and his $134,000 in non-paid taxes to be our Secretary of Health and Human Services.

Another anthem that needs addressing in our Nation's anthem. The Star Spangled Banner is a brilliantly difficult piece of music. Despite the extreme skill level required to successfully sing our nation's memoir, individuals across this country feel it is their right to slaughter the song of our heritage. The runs, trills, hiccups, spastic pop screams and slides that have become the "norm" are nothing more than sloppy belches.

The following clip is a masterpiece dedicated to all of you who think you are the American Idol of your own world. After watching this clip you will lose all desires to ever perform in public. If that doesn't work maybe Bono could write you a song, an anthem of your own.



Celestyn H said...

That is sick. When I hear the anthem slaughtered like that I am ashamed they represent the USA.

Hannah said...

Ahahahaha! Love it. Lee, how right you are about all those songs!

Ashley said...

Ugh. After four years of singing the national anthem with my choir before football and basketball games in high school--do NOT get me started on my qualms with so-called "professionals" butchering it.

We spent more time rehearsing that than we did any other piece of music just so the guys in my tiny rinky-dink poe-dunk school would get it drummed into their heads that we do NOT take a huge gaping breath as we sing, "Oh say does that star-spangled banner yet wave..." That hyphen is NOT a gasp! We had to do it so many times for them, I learned the baritone part for it just from listening.

It also drives me nuts when "professional" singers can't say "without you" because it always comes out "with ouch-oo". I love Kelly Clarkson but I cringe every time I hear the opening line of "A Moment Like This" because she says, "What if I tol-jew".


Matt and Jenni said...

YES!!! My mom showed me that exact clip on Sunday night! I love it, and I love YOU for putting it on your blog....that clip couldn't be any better...they put in all the different little things that drives us normal (right? We're normal.) Americans crazy. PERFECT!

Martha said...

Oh wow.

Crystal and Clint said...

Oh lee you and your love for neil diamond!! Love it!! :) And i agree about the national anthem! It is sad how often it gets slaughtered and completely ruined! Love the posts and the creativity! KEEP EM COMING!

Anonymous said...

It's the Police that sing Every Breath You Take, not U2.

Ms. Case said...

It really is such a shame. I couldn't watch that video....regardless if it was meant for laughs. Because people like that are really out there. But what I want to know is, who are the damn people auditioning and picking such fools!? HUH!?